Episode 80: Dealing with extreme loss; how to survive the death of a child. With Chloe Pestana mom of three.
Episode Description
Mamas, today we have soulful brave and self reflective mama on the show who is going to share one of the hardest experiences of a mother’s life-the loss of a child.
Chloe Pestana, mom of 3 who lives with her husband and kids in Oahu Hawaii, told me in our pre interview chat that she wants to help other families that might be going through a tragic loss, by sharing her own story of the loss of her beloved three year old son Legend. Her courage and grace in light of tragedy is honestly astounding.
Legend’s sudden death on December 23, 2017 due to a rare birth defect unknown to us called Arteriovenous Malformation in the Spinal cord, changed the trajectory of the Pestana’s lives forever.
Now they have a foundation in honor of her son called “Shakas for Legend” which honors her son and his passion for skateboarding (which started before he could even walk.) The SHAKAS FOR LEGEND FOUNDATION was founded to share our her son’s spirit, give back to the kaikee and share the love and stoke he had for life and skateboarding with the world.
Through annual contests, SHAKAS FOR LEGEND Scholarship programs and merchandise, her family envisions sharing Legends stoke across the globe. Chloe and her family believe that no matter how young or old, small or big, we are all capable of achieving great things.
Chloe has taken to writing about her journey (which is incredibly moving I might add) in her beautifully inspired blog, and this is the first time she has shared her story in this format. It is truly an honor to have this beautiful mama on the show.
Take Aways
Being a young mother and the pressures associated with that
Getting married young
The power of presence and how she intentionally chose to slow down when Legend was born
How we don’t often talk about or prepare for death in our culture
How her family went from thriving to shock when her three year old son legend wouldn’t wake up one morning
Her experience with her son in a coma for 12 hours and then losing him that day.
The darkness and rock bottom grief experienced by her and her family upon Legend’s tragic and sudden death
Facing a moment of choice between living and dying
How she chose to move forward with life after his death
How she talks about the loss to her daughters
The strength of her family & how her husband was a rock throughout all of this
Chloe tells us about Arteriovenous Malformation and it’s implications
Why she wouldn’t have done anything differently had they even know he was afflicted with the Arteriovenous Malformation
Her experience with feeling Legend’s presence all around her
Living intuitively and spiritually